Marriage Mentors group connects couples all year round

By Tanya Connor | The Catholic Free Press

As Valentine’s Day approaches, there is a focus on marriage around the globe and at home in the Worcester diocese.
World Marriage Day, sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, is commemorated on the second Sunday of February, which is this weekend.
Feb. 7-14 is National Marriage Week USA, “part of an international event seeking to mobilize individuals, organizations, and businesses ... to strengthen marriage in communities and influence the culture,” according to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ website usccb.org.
These observances “provide an opportunity for the Catholic Church to focus on and celebrate the vocation to marriage and family life,” the USCCB website says. “The theme for this year’s celebration of National Marriage Week is ‘Love Beyond Words,’ which recalls the self-sacrificing love in marriage that is rooted in the wedding promises.”
Among local events, though not connected with these celebrations, is tomorrow’s Valentine’s Dance sponsored by the Marriage Mentors group of St. John, Guardian of Our Lady Parish in Clinton.
As with the group’s other gatherings throughout the year, all married and engaged couples are welcome to attend this free event, whether or not they are parishioners.
The Marriage Mentors group is for socializing, but also for support and spiritual opportunities.
The group’s purpose, says the website stjohnsclinton.org/marriage-mentor-group, is “to enrich and foster marriages which glorify God and create united families, thriving children, stronger churches, and healthier communities” by building community in the group. There is also a desire “to encourage seasoned married couples to mentor engaged and young married couples.”
Adrianne Niall said she and fellow parishioner Michael Hughes started the group about three years ago, and they plan activities with help from their spouses and other couples.
She and her husband, Michael Niall, have been married for 20 years and have four children ages 9 to 19, she said. Mr. Hughes said he and his wife, Marjorie Hughes, have been married 26 years and have five children, two of whom married at St. John’s in the past couple years.
Marriage Mentors participants have been gathering for the parish’s 6 p.m. Mass on first Fridays, and meeting afterwards, Mrs. Niall said. But next month they are to start meeting the second Saturday of every month, so they won’t be “exhausted” after a long work week, she said. They won’t attend Mass together as they had been doing, but will still gather from 6-8:30 p.m.
They will continue to pray the second luminous mystery of the rosary (the wedding at Cana) for their marriages, and listen to talks, she said. There are talks by guest speakers and testimonies by couples involved, which “often spurs conversation” as they eat together afterwards. The popular quarterly game night is open to families. Marriage Mentors has also co-sponsored dances with the parish youth group and is planning a retreat.
Five to seven couples attend the regular meetings, and about 15 to 20 come for guest speakers, Mrs. Niall said.
There are many wonderful marriages and families in parishes, said Mr. Hughes. He said Marriage Mentors was formed to “facilitate the connection” between newly married couples and those long married; “we could all benefit each other and support each other.”
“Just knowing that we all struggle can be helpful,” said Mrs. Niall, adding that sometimes “when you see a family at Mass, they look perfect.” So, the group asks some members to give brief talks at meetings about their own marriages.
Parishioner Cara Schomp, who attends with her husband, Craig, said these testimonies have been especially helpful.
“You know you’re not alone in your trials,” she said. Sometimes members share a helpful way they have dealt with problems or a beautiful tradition that can enhance listeners’ faith and family life.
“It’s nice to socialize with other Catholic couples,” Mrs. Schomp said. “You already have something in common because you have the same foundation of faith.”
Mr. Hughes, a sacramental theology teacher at St. John’s High School in Shrewsbury, said the Church prepares couples for marriage, but he did not know of much follow-up after their weddings.
Allison LeDoux, director of the diocesan Office of Marriage and Family, said she hasn’t heard of other groups like Marriage Mentors in the diocese.
“It’s good to see that a parish has taken some initiative” to do this, she said. “That’s where it belongs – in the parish. If other parishes are attracted to that, [St. John’s group] would be a good model.”
There wasn’t a big plan in starting the group, Mr. Hughes said; “we sort of let it grow organically.”
St. John’s pastor, Father James S. Mazzone, said the initiative was from the people, not him.
“I was overjoyed to learn of my parishioners’ desire to form such a group and was wholly supportive of their efforts,” he said. “Grassroots movements such as these in a parish [are] a pastor’s dream come true.”

– For more information about the Marriage Mentors group or its Valentine’s Dance, being held from 6-9 p.m. Feb. 10 at St. John’s Gym, 149 Chestnut St., Clinton, contact Adrianne Niall at  ajniall@hotmail.com or 617-905-6093.

Each day of National Marriage Week, digital content is to be shared on USCCB social media channels. Other USCCB resources about marriage can be accessed through the websites ForYourMarriage.org, PorTuMatrimonio.org, and LoveMeansMore.org.